Bad opening lines for catfight fiction

[Corvus]

"Pansy knew that when Patricia punched her pussy, her precarious position as the purest head of pugilistic poking would soon be precarious, so she pouted."

Contribute your own!

[Nutmeg]

Do they need to be real?

[Corvus]

Gawd, I hope not.

[Nutmeg]

"At arm's length: A cat fight in hoop skirts "

[Michael James]

"Once, upon a time..."

[Nutmeg]

"On our planet we despise personal contact, so our women fight via interpretive dance offs." said Zoltar to Kirk.

[Corvus]

"I loved the woman like she was a sister, officer, but not only did she throw her drink in my face, she wore the same dress, so I had to take her down."

[WriteThisWay]

It was the best of fights, it was the worst of fights.

[Nutmeg]

Mr Fluffypants saw Snufflekins putting his paws in his Meow mix and let out a warning growl !

[rin753]

"It was a standing room only crowd at the Katfight Klub."

[Warbird]

I know this one! Ahem...

"The woman in red fled across the dessert table, and the catfighter followed."

[Nutmeg]

More of a opening paragraph but the gist of it is what counts

"Another night watching the cat fights to the death, here in Madison Square Gardens that he rented for the night. And because of a few well placed bribes, no one suspects a thing or would ever find out about these fights. Not without  HIS invitation. The  setup is flawless. The few hundred people he invited would never speak nor would any of the 10 fighters or the 10 who lost their lives, of course. The rich can do anything !"

[catfightlover40]

"I was eyeing the slut from across the bar the whole evening. I swear, if she's making yet another play with her hair and throws her hair into my boyfriend's face, I'll punch her". If this is followed by action which then closes off the story... I gladly admit, it must be me, but I like to discern  stories and characters from each other. I don't expect 5000+ entries, just that I can know, what makes your story yours.

[WildAtHeart]

As I watched my opponent across the ring, I noticed my stomach was a little off and thought to myself "maybe that Mexican food I had for lunch isn't agreeing with me" and my stomach starts to growl with discomfort.

[Nutmeg]

As Sally felt her bowels and stomach quake, and noticed her opponent was wearing a tampon, she realized this facesit match might be ill advised.