Do u hide ur cf interest from others in ur life?
Ani
My policy is dont ask dont tell.
definately
its not a thing one advertises from where i come from
I suspect most of us hide it. Even those few who are lucky enough to participate for real probably keep it pretty quiet. It is a strange fetish. You can find it in dozens of main stream sources. Every time a female celebrity is involved in an altercation, it is front page news. It used to be common to have mud wrestling or foxy boxing in most major cities. Many motion pictures, TV shows and soap operas, and even plays strongly focus on the fem vs. fem conflicts. Jerry Springer pretty much made a career on it. The male fascination with catfights has even been fodder for Comedy such as Seinfeld, Big Bang Theory, etc. Not to mention the hype in many female boxing matches and in professional wrestling. Catfights are almost common place. It is so common it is practically mundane, but at the same time, it is strangely taboo. We are all expected to enjoy and lust after catfights, just not too much.
In my case my thing is pretty much anything fem vs. fem, primarily focused on the idea of my lovely wife being one of the combatants. I kept it quiet for 7 years of my marriage. When I finally revealed it to her, she was horrified and nearly divorced me. I should add that I handled my coming out very poorly. Just pretty much blurted it out. I guess I was surprised by her reaction. I underestimated how much of a prude she was. There were many consequences of my revelation. Among other things, my wife insisted that I "share" my interest with several people including several of her friends and my family, largely to demonstrate how terrible it was. She also insisted on what amounted to years of counseling. It was humiliating and degrading to say the least, but in some ways very cathartic. For the most part, the response was kind of muted. I think they found it strange that it was such a strong interest of mine, but not the fact that it was an interest. In other words, they recognized the attraction, but not the strength of my attraction to women wrestling and boxing. I had felt extreme shame about my interest before I "came out". However, I came to realize through my process that in the grand scheme of things, this was a pretty tame fantasy and as long as it was just a fantasy, pretty harmless.
While certain 'chosen' friends know of my....er....interest.....it is not something that I advertise.
Just keep my ears pricked for an opportunity to expand a discussion, but if it goes nowhere, then I just leave it.
You tend to find that people think that you are weird if it comes out at the wrong time or with the wrong people.
So.....the advice I would give (and it has stood me in good stead for a LOT of years!) is keep your head down and keep listening.....you would be amazed at the opportunities to expand on the subject that come around.
;)
Many years ago I posed this same question on Barb's site. I was amazed by the chord that it struck with so many people. I mean, the thread ran for weeks. Most of us keep it closeted because it IS "different." Lumberjack's post really conveys the reality of the situation, i.e. just how it could be perceived by others. I have never brought it up with my friends --- NEVER. I even kept it from my wife for well over 20 years. She finally discovered it when I failed to log off of the Internet by mistake one time. She was taken aback -- not shocked, not horrified, but a bit undone. After I explained the situaiton, she was able to accept it for what it was. After all, I was a good husband, a good provider, a good father, etc. Taken in that context, it wasn't any real big thing. However, she did admit that had she found out about this early in our relationship, she might not have reacted with the same serenity and acceptance. Even now, it's not discussed. And I make sure that I'm logged off everytime that I go online.
So, we remain quiet about this, and with good reason.
There is wisdom in the old saying, "do not discuss sex and politics with people you do not know". Or something like that anyway, to me it is the same thing. When you are intimate with someone it will come out on its own naturally.
Generally, yes, I do keep it hidden. I have told some people, my wife and a few lovers. They generally accept it without much surprise. The ex-wife even got into it, making up stories of her fighting her rivals at work. But I think most people, women especially, find it weird at best and treat it as "violence toward women." Which it would be if it were real, but my fantasies are all just that - fantasy. No interest in seeing it happen in real life.
My wife knows, but basically ignores it. She is ambivalent to the idea. We have some friends that really enjoy the erotic aspects of life. I told them one night at dinner....they really had no big reaction, but no real interest in going any farther into the subject either.
I am agreed to yours views. But, if it is taboo/fetis/perversion, then why so many boys/guys enjoy catfights in most of school girls cf videos in youtube named "Peles de mujeres"?? To me, I salutes the girls, brave enough to put up a fight inspite of so many spectators laughing & cheering!
Personally, I also affraid to share my cf interest to close ones, I think they might react! But, I cann't understand why most of people negatively react with it while, so many hits & likes on catfight videos on youtube?
Any guess? How many % of your area may like catfights?
I am from indian subcontinent. I think only 1%-5% people may like it here. Although, real life catfights are common in slums here & some spectators also enjoyed brawl, but often break-uped.
So much porn available in india. But, nothing available like nude indian real catfight here. I wonder, no one even interested to try some catfight with indian girls specially with indian galis (Bad name calling)??
I don't talk to people about it, but also don't see any need for that. It's my private life, like many other things. Also, it doesn't dominate my life, there are lots of other interests. In the country I live in, nobody I know hears and sees the radio and tv channels I do because nobody speaks the language, and that can sometimes be much more isolating than not conversing about sex fantasies, which not many people do anyway no matter what their preferences are.
my X knos and she got me started in CFC
Of course, catfights are a sexual fetish. I find real catfights very disturbing and am totally against them.
For me this is my secret dirty fantasy where I can do all sorts of wild stuff that I'd never dream of doing irl. So no I don't talk about it to my rl friends.
Sorry my english isn't good.
I love only fantasy catfights, not real catfights.
About hiding frome others. For many years I thought it was a strange fetish and I was ashamed of it. Internet opened a world. Now I know there are a lot of people with the same fetish. But I donì't share it with nobody I know. Also with my wife. I'm not sure about her reaction. Why I should take the risk?
We have public life as well so discreection is preferred.
@ krispin. >> If u become 'turn on' by catfights then, how can you get sexually satisfied without telling it to your wife?
@ Others. >> Is "Loving hair pulling catfights" a crime? Why sexual partner react so much, that some afraid even of divorce?
yes i do
An interesting question, and the answer for me is it's mainly a secret I keep to myself. My wife knew about my fetish before we got married (it's why I refer to myself as "Luckyman.") One day she asked me what sexual fantasies I had and what turned me on. She asked me this because her mother suggested it, believe it or not. (I have the greatest mother-in-law in the world). She asked to see my secret stash of porn and I showed her two VCR tapes, one of Danni Ashe and a black woman boxing in slow motion, and a typical bloody JR Rolen tape of women boxing. She said that although it wasn't her thing she could live with it. The three things she said she couldn't stand were pedophiles, rapists, and cross-dressers. The thought of someone trying on her clothes really disgusted her for some reason. While we were still attending the university twice she invited girlfriends over to wrestle while I "secretly" watched from another room. What I thought would really turn me on did not. For one, it was obvious the matches were scripted and that the other girl knew I was there. The only thing I found sexy was the girl who won the match over my wife-to-be and sort of strutted around, showing off like she was offering herself to me. I didn't like other girls on campus knowing about my fetish and I told my wife-to-be to stop. That was the extent of my IRL involvement with catfighting until a few months ago. About a year ago my wife started taking kick-boxing lessons at our gym and really liked it. The instructor there would hold live matches between members who agreed. But as the fighters almost always wore sweats or jumpsuits and used headgear, there was no sexual element in it for me. I enjoyed watching my wife fight, but my catfighting fetish was satisfied by purchasing videos or downloading clips from the Internet. Until about 4 months ago the only time we've had a discussion about my wife participating in my fetish was when we vacation in the Caribbean. Away from people we know, and with the ability to participate in various forms of female combat, i.e., mud-wrestling, foxy-boxing, etc., I thought it would be great. The reason my wife elected not to was the fact that in almost all these events you'll find someone with a camera. As we are both professional people the thought of having a video of my wife surface on the Internet was not something we wanted to happen.
So my cf secret was just that until about 4 months ago when my wife came home and announced that she wanted to fight this girl named Monique. (Details in the "basement boxing" thread). Having never had a couple come over for the wives to fight, I found this forum and asked basically, "what were the rules".
A few of you on this forum are aware of what happened next. I will say that the real event was anything but sexy, but I wished I had filmed it because if I watched it again it would be very erotic. Remembering me removing my wife's bra in front of her opponent's husband and waiting for the round to begin where her opponent could pummel her bare tits is as sexy as the first time I saw my wife's amazing nipples. And although that fight led to the possibility of her doing more fighting like that in the future, the fact that "other people" know about it causes me worry.
i dont hide it my X knows and she got me interested
I dont hide it nearly as much as i used too. When i was a kid it was such a taboo subject to talk about let along admit to loving. When i came online and found out that a lot of other people are into it plus the fact that women's combative sports is much more accepted these days I find myself admitting it much more freely.
First and foremost, my girlfriend knows and is comfortable with it. It's not the defining aspect of our relationship and neither should it be, but it's something we can tap into to enhance our sex life.
I think the motto is 'do no harm.' I've grown to view it as being more than titillation and a full expression of womanhood. At least, that's how I sold it to her and it worked. Any mention of her actually getting involved has revolved around the lines of "yeah, you could easily take Megan Fox, etc." All good humoured, but it gets her mental process working overtime. If she gets involved it's a bonus, but I'm sure as hell not going to pressure her to do anything she doesn't want.
As for others, a few close friends know. At least, as far back when I was younger and told them. They're still my close friends today, but the subject never comes up and neither do I raise it. Maybe they suspect I'm still interested or maybe they think it's a phase I was going through. In the same respect, they've blurted out inner desires in their youth and I certainly don't think the worst of them or even hold them to it.
The biggest challenge I've experienced is of direct family knowing, that's something else entirely. My mum found my copy of the 'Battling Beauties' video and a short story I wrote about a catfight when I was in my late teens. Not exactly a comfortable situation at the time and maybe once again, dismissed as a phase I was going through. But now, it's water under a bridge.
At the end of the day, only you know how strong your desires are. They might seem pretty potent but hell, there are stranger things afoot in this world than watching two beautiful semi-naked women working up a sweat and throwing each other around. In fact, that sounds pretty healthy to me.
I discuss it wiyh noone they dont have to know about what gets me going also when at work and two women walk down the hall or on the street I wonder who would win in a catfight while my co workers have other ideas. what it comes down to is what people dont know about you wont hurt th
The only person who knows of my fetish, believe it or not, is my wife. I've thought and fantasize women fighting since I was young. I also have a nylon fetish, seeing a woman wearing a dress or skirt and pantyhose, thinking of her getting into a fight.
She knows both of these fetishes, but we don't talk about it much. None of my friends know this of me and I wouldn't want them to know.
From most, but not my wife. We've talked about both spontaneous and planned fights and all that goes with it.
I have told a few girl friends over the years, one thought it hilarious, the other understood and saw no harm and played along. My wife found out after we married and destroyed a lot of my stuff. She thinks it is oerverted and still does. I have told noone else. Sometimes it it very hard to not have anyone to share with and even who understands. I'm not even sure I understnad anymore but I can't really change it.
those of you with spouses that understand and still love you or even participate in your fantasy, you are VERY lucky. Trat them right and hano on to them, they are few and far between.
Quote from: herboyfriend on March 08, 2013, 10:35:10 PM
I don't talk to people about it, but also don't see any need for that. It's my private life, like many other things.
Mostly, this.
Some of my exgirlfriends know, and just one of my friends. Surprisingly, none of my exs has made it public, and I say "surprisingly" because some were really mad when we broke up. My friend is cool, he doesn't talks about it publicly, but privately he sometimes joke about it. He's not into it, but finds it funny that a guy like me enjoys this kind of stuff.
I wouldn't mind exposing my fetish if I meet somebody enough open-minded, but just in that case, and if the subject comes out. Personally, I don't think that most people would understand.
Quote from: oilwrestler on April 04, 2013, 04:24:05 AM
Anyone got a suggestion as to which catfight vid is a great one to watch with lover? I mean as a 'coming out' occasion!
I think that depends on what you're trying to accomplish. If you want this "coming out" occasion to be non-threatening, then I would go with a straight wrestling match - and both wrestlers attired in one-piece suits. I always thought that some old Ladyhawke matches would work well for a first time experience. I think that you want to make the experience as non-threatening as possible. With Ladyhawke, the women are "girl next door types" so your lover is not likely to feel threatened by their appearances. The action is not violent, just competitive, so that minimizes the possible uneasiness. And with neither woman being topless, the sensuality is kept to a minimum. BTW, the best place to get hold of a Ladyhawke tape is at http://www.rockin-roxanne.com and they're fairly cheap.
I think that one of the worst things to show would be a topless, real fight from Crystal. She would probably find that shocking and think you're really out there.
Good luck. Hope all goes well.
I'll say first of all that we all wear different "faces"-masks, if you will- we hope will better fit specific situations. That being said, my interest in catfighting, is one of those things, I tend not too share with anyone else.
Like I said, If you have a spouse that understands even if they don't actively participate, your the truly lucky. My fetish has caused much trouble and distrust in my marriage. My wife is very jealous and always has been but this sets her off like nothing else. She did not understand bwfore we marriedand still won't even accept it. She has check my computer logs and hsitory as well as favorites to find anything. I have gotten very careful. The bad part is the having no one to understand or talk with about it. I get very "lonely" for want of a term to better describe it. I guess that's the price I pay for a family. Good luck to you who have spaouses that understand.
I to put this out on Barb's old site and her comment was to talk to my wife and try to get her to see the harmless thing for what it was. Didn't work at ALL.
Thanks for letting me vent
This (topic title) is pretty much the main reason I use a cartoon avatar in my profile instead of an actual photo. In real life I'm mostly a private person and no one in my social circle has the slightest notion about any of my sexual tastes or tendencies, let alone a fetish interest like this one, and I've always generally preferred that it stay that way. It's not that I'd be especially ashamed or embarassed, since as others have noted it's pretty mainstream tame as far as fetishes go. If the subject of girlfights comes up in the course of a conversation in its usual broadly appealing context, I may chime in and say "Yeah that's hot" or something similar, but I'm hardly going to launch into nitty gritty detailed references to schoolgirl pins, grapevine breast smothers and reverse facesits. The ultra-kinky level of fascination with the subject isn't something most are going to appreciate, so I consider it best kept concealed.
And since I don't really harbour any illusions about the likelihood of persuading anyone to participate in the activities in question for my amusement, there's not much incentive or motivation to bring up the topic in the hopes of obtaining real-world results. I just see that proposition as too statistically improbable to work out favourably, so instead I content myself with exploring the fantasy through artwork, videos, and interest-themed social hubs like this one.
Until there are virtually real simulated "Matrices" and fully immersive holodecks in which to indulge our imaginations, this cyber-realm is probably the best outlet available for scratching the girlfight-lovin' itch ;)
i use to hide it but the last few females i dealt with i told them off top because to me its a chance she participate in the fetish or she might real or staged... so yea i do take my chances