FreeCatFights

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Adrienne Barbeau makes Dian Parkinson lick her feet
Dian Parkinson makes Adrienne Barbeau lick her feet
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A short brunette vs a good sized blonde with the brunette having the slightly better record.  Adrienne says her boobs are bigger than Dian's and hers are all real unlike those stuffed bags in Dian's. She is going to pop those bags when she bearhugs her. Dian says her breasts are just as real as Adrienne's (a bit ambiguous statement). It is Adrienne's droopy titties that will suffer and tit to tit competition.

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Britt Ekland knows she can't be trapped by Edy Williams but must strike and retreat until she softens Edy up. "This will be easy because she is a big, slow, dumb blonde" quotes Britt. Edy answers back "I'm goona crush the fucking tiny, skinny bitch!" the battle lines are drawn.

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"This could be Sherry's last fight. After all you can[t really fight in a body cast.' Snarls the vicious Martine. Sounds like she is going to tear Sherry limb form limb. "Big talk from someone who has been beaten by any tough fighter. She will find out I am tougher than I look." Sherry quips back. "I brought some duck tape to put over her mouth to shut her up" adds Sherry.

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Luciana Paluzzi is a fiery Italian with dark hair with a hint of red in it. Victoria Principal has a brighter color of red.  Both are good catfighters who love to grapple on their feet or on the ground. Luciana is a mature woman with lots of experience. Victoria is a teenager with the exuberance of the young.  Show be a great fight of two contrasting styles. Luciana snipes "She's already called the paramedics because she knows she is going to need them." Victoria just smiles and says "I am making reservations of a big celebration after I beat the stuffing out of that fat broad.

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Suzanne and Annette may be in the middle of the pack but it is a blonde vs brunette confrontation and that always gets the juices flowing. Suzanne hates brunettes after being stabbed in the back by Joyce DeWitt. Annette has no love for blondes since even though she was "America's Sweetheart" the blondes seemed to get more attention. The claws will be out for this one as I see the two rolling back and forth on the ground trying to bet the better of her opponent.

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One great fight is expected between Joey Heatherton and Sybil Danning. Joey is coming off a great win over super tough Senta Berger. Sybil lost a bitch off to Diana McBain and has resolved to be even bitchier from her on out. Her pride is at stake. IF Joey wants to win she will have to match dirty tactic with dirty tactic. Tit for tat or make that tit for tit. This fight is not for the weak of heart. 

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Tuesday Weld has had some wins much bigger than her stature. The typical word to describe her is "spunk". She doesn't take any shit for anyone no matter how big. Jaclyn Smith has had to take shit for her blonde costars, Cheryl Ladd and Farrah Fawcett. That smile on her face is because of what she is imagining she will do to the smaller Tuesday. Does Tuesday looked concerned or is she just have a serious look on her face to once again show Jaclyn she has to take shit from smaller blondes.

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Stefanie Powers is fighting to stay off the bottom, stay ahead of Jaclyn Smith and even move ahead of Nancy Kwan. Lindsay Wagner has done only slightly better and could end up in last place if she doesn't start doing better. Both women are on the skinny side with not a lot of muscle. Stefanie believes she has the better body control and the better fighting techniques. Lindsay says that is hogwash as she will wipe the floor with Stefanie.

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My thoughts on this set; best fight would be Luciana Paluzzi beating the crap out of Victoria Principal  :)

Adrienne Barbeau vs Dian Parkinson
Dian comes fresh from a massive romping over Stefanie Powers but Adrienne has had good victories recently too. Both women would like to continue their streak but once they get involved in a fiery scrap, Adrienne gains the advantage and send the blonde down on the floor. Then she wastes little time and rips Dian's cleavage off before knocking her out for good. Overall, pretty convincing win for the brunette as she looks to me as much stronger and tougher.

Britt Ekland vs Edy Williams
Edy isn't best pleased with Britt threatening to overtake her in the overall standings. As a result she jumps on the petite blonde and vows to fuck her up quickly. Britt tries to rip some of Edy's bleached hair but is soon send crashing on the floor instead. Edy has discovered an inner bitch within herself and pummels Britt into a quick submission.

Martine Beswick vs Sherry Jackson
Another one-sided fight in prospect as Martine is just too strong and too aggressive for Sherry to even have a sniff of victory. Martine would waste no time in pounding Sherry's brains out and it won't take long before Sherry crumbles down in agony.

Luciana Paluzzi vs Victoria Principal
Both women come off painful defeats, Luciana went down to Linda Evans and Victoria got smashed by Ann Margaret. I reckon the Italian's rage over the previous fight will prevail and leave Victoria in all sorts of trouble. Luciana won't hold back in clawing into Victoria's flesh and soon the readhead gets laid flat on the floor where the brunette would absolutely rip her apart and send her for a face rearrangement at best. This might not be the biggest beatdown of the entire round, but Luciana's win will never be in doubt.

Suzanne Somers vs Annette Funicello
Suzanne has suffered some heavy losses to equally tough woman but Annette in nowehere nearly as tough as the blonde and will get knocked out quickly in a one-sided fight.

Joey Heatherton vs Sybil Danning
Despite smothering Senta Berger into submission, Joey will take a real rough beating at the hands of Sybil Danning here. Sybil thought Diane McBain will be a quick snack before the real big guns and tripped over unexpectedly. There will be no mercy shown this time around and in a straight-forward punchfest, Sybil knocks out Joey and returns to winning ways.

Tuesday Weld vs Jaclyn Smith
This could have gone either way earlier in the competition but now Jaclyn has suffered too many losses to be a real threat to Tuesday. Brunette would like to surprise the blonde by going fast off the blocks but Tuesday doesn't let herself distracted and trips Jaclyn easily and then punches her stomach so hard, Jaclyn struggles to breathe and gets worked over into submission without much resistance.

Stefanie Powers vs Lindsay Wagner
A couple of real cream puffs would not get involved in a really wild fight with only few lucky punches able to reach the target. Finally Lindsay overcomes her fear and decides to attack but Stefanie has no response and gets smothered on the floor. Lindsay has no better idea then to choke Stefanie into submission who's lack of defensive ability shows and decides the outcome of this below-par contest.

Best fight in this round would see Sybil in one hell of a scrap with Joey, the best match of the entire group. My vote was for Sybil.

Here is what I saw that happened:

Adrienne Barbeau 46 vs Dian Parkinson 36: Adrienne made good on her threat to prove her breasts were better than Dian's and 'pop those bags'. She didn't quite pop them put pressured them so hard that Dian had to surrender for fear Adrienne would.  This was the fifth closest fight but not all that close as Adrienne handled Dian fairly easily.'

Britt Ekland 35 vs Edy Williams 45: The feather weight Britt gave a good account of herself for awhile, moving well enough to keep Edy off of her. But once Edy got Britt's body under hers Britt had no chance. Edy enjoyed crushing Britt's body with hers for a fairly easy win.

Martine Beswick 49 vs Sherry Jackson 31: The only positive for Sherry Jackson was that she wasn't given the worst beat down of the round. It was only the 7th worst. Martine considers that a failure on her part and has vowed to get the worst beat down next time no matter which bitch is her victim. It wasn't as if Martine was trying as she inflicted punishment after torture against the defenseless Sherry.

Luciana Paluzzi 53 vs Victoria Principal 30: It isn't clear what happened here. Victoria is a good fighter and so most expected a close, fairly even fight against Luciana. Perhaps the Luciana's Italian temper was aroused after losing to both Sybil Danning and Linda Evans. She came out like a tigress and nearly ripped all of Victoria's hair out. If Victoria hadn't submitted when she did she might have ended up bald. This was the 3rd worst beat down in a round that featured many one-sided fights.

Suzanne Somers 52 vs Annette Funicello 31: Usually it is brunettes that are described as hating blondes and having it in for them. This is a case in reversed caused by Suzanne's hatred of Joyce DeWitt for obvious reasons. She easily over powered Annette Funicello and took her anger out on her. A severe bare fist beating was followed up with a tremendous scissors that crush the already badly battered Annette in submission. Suzanne was trying to get enough point differential to move ahead of the sex symbols above her with the same win/loss record so she could move into the top 16. Suzanne gave Annette the 4th worst beat down of the round.

Joey Heatherton 38 vs Sybil Danning43: Tough Joey Heatherton took on the evil, sinister Sybil Danning and fully expected to win. Joey was confident having beaten Senta Berger. Sybil should have had doubts having lost to Diane McBain. But that lost made Sybil even nastier and more evil than usual, which is saying something. Joey tried yanking Sybil's hair hard, slapping her and applying skillful holds on her. But Sybil's claws were too much as almost every inch of Joey's body was scratched. If Joey got Sybil in a scissors, her legs had long claw marks down them forcing her to release the scissors before Joey could get a submission. A more vicious catfighter got a close win over a more skilled wrestler (but not necessarily more skilled fighter). It was the closest fight of the round.

Tuesday Weld 51 vs Jaclyn Smith 31: This looked like a good opportunity for Jaclyn Smith to gain a rare victory against the short Tuesday Weld. Jaclyn was fighting to stay off last place.  Tuesday was fighting to move into the top half, which she would consider an achievement given that so many of the other women are much bigger than her. Both women fought their hardest with Jaclyn's hardest not coming close to Tuesday's. Tuesday gave Jaclyn a black Saturday as she gave Jaclyn the 5h worst beat down. Both were wearing shorts but Jaclyn's flimsy blouse was ripped off immediately while she could not get Tuesday's sweater off. Jaclyn's exposed breasts were then an easy target for Tuesday.

Stefanie Powers 35 vs Lindsay Wagner 47:  Stefanie Powers is also fighting to stay out of last place and to stay ahead of Jaclyn Smith, albeit by points only as they have the same record. Lindsay's record has been less than bionic as most of her opponents seem to be Fembots with greater strength and speed. Lindsay was overjoyed to find someone weaker than her and made the most of it. She applied one joint lock after another on Stefanie's arms, legs, and wrists just to prove she could. She finished Stefanie off with a bow and arrow stretch to punish Stefanie's leg and arm at the same time.